Day 28 - The End of the Season

Well, the Ags just ended their season with a wimper. The game was a pretty bad loss, and coupled with an Okie State win, and UCLA's loss last night, my bowl pick'em ranking is going to take a big hit. At least the Mavs had a good win tonight. Sitting there during the game thinking about what I was going to write tonight, I decided that I'd end my season with a wimper tonight too.

It has been 28 days of posting. Some post have been rants, some have been decently thought out, and some (especially these last couple) have been thrown together at the last moment just to get something up to meet a requirement I set for myself. I am glad that I have posted a bunch, but at least for now, I am going to take a break. I'll be back posting in a few days, but probably I'd doubt I'll be back to posting one a day. Thanks for reading, and the encouragment I have gotten from comments both on here and outside of here.

Today's Playlist:
Hood - Outside Closer
16 Horsepower - Low Estate
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Facing Future
Joseph Arthur - Come to Where I'm From
Isis - Oceanic

Day 27 - Back to the Grind

I spent most of today with my head down coding away at my project at work. Days like today usually feel pretty short, and today was no exception. I get a lot done and spend less time looking at the clock, but I don't like being so disconnected. There are going to have to be a lot more days like today between now and January 16th though.

For tonight, I am going to keep on with the trend of mindless short writings and go watch some football. The UCLA/FSU game is looking pretty interesting from the score. I hope UCLA wins. My bowl pick'em ranking depends on it.

Today's Long Playlist:
Sound Team - Movie Monster
Julie Miller - Broken Things
Justin Rosolino - Wonderlust
Voxtrot - Mothers, Sisters, Daughters, Wives
The Mountain Goats - Get Lonely
Danielson - Ships
Patty Griffin - Living With Ghosts
Nirvana - Unplugged in New York

Day 26 - Boxing Day

I don't know what I will title tomorrow's post. After a long day at work, not particularly bad, just long, I don't really want to sit down to write like I was planning on. I'll write more tomorrow and come up with at better title.

Today's Playlist:
Richard Buckner - The Hill
TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
Mat Kearney - Nothing Left to Lose

Day 25 - Merry Christmas

Well, I have reached the end of the 25 days I allotted for my little experiment. I made my goal of posting every day. I fell quite short of my goal of spending time in the Word every day, though I did do much better than I was leading up to these 25 days. I listened to a lot of music, but that doesn't really suprise me.

I don't feel like I am quite ready to stop yet though. After not getting to sit down and write like I would have liked over the past few days, I think I want to extend things a couple more days. I got to thinking about some things over my time out of town, and I want to spend a bit more time with some of those things. The bottom line is that for at least the next three days, I will continue my streak. I don't have much more to say tonight other than that. Posting about posting.....isn't that awesome.

I hope you had a great Christmas day.

Today's Playlist (as selected by DJ A in the car all the way back from West Monroe):
Nicole Nordeman - Woven and Spun
Jennifer Knapp - Kansas
Kendall Payne - Jordan's Sister
Many many other female singers that I don't listen to aside from letting my wife drive the radio. Whatever Christmas songs the radio chose to play.

Day 24 – Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve came and went without much going on. It is almost over, and the weekend at A’s parents’ is winding down. It isn’t a bad thing to be away from my family for Christmas, but it is just different. I’ll sit down and finally write some more tomorrow when I get back to Dallas. It has been hard to find time to get away.

Day 23 – A Day at Home

It wasn’t my home, but it was home of a certain description. When we are at one of our homes or the other, life always seems much slower. For that weekend or whatever period of time being there is for, it is difficult to figure out what to do. There usually ends up being some degree of tv watching that wouldn’t be done otherwise. There usually ends up being some sort of moment where we do something that neither of us wants to do, but we do it anyway. It always seems like home never changes, but I feel like I have changed a lot every time I go back. That isn’t a 100% true statement, but it is something for me to ponder.

I have been away from “home” for a long time now. It has been eight years since I have spent significant time at “home.” I don’t feel like I have really replaced home yet. I am finally settling in to Dallas, and I think I could get used to the idea of it being where I am from. I am attached to the city. City life suits me well. There are all sorts of place to go, thing to see, and things to do. I can try new things. I can go cd shopping at tons of different places whenever I want to. Whatever I might need or want can usually be found somewhere. I think the last hurdle I have to really feeling at home there is to overcome the anonymity that city life makes so easy. When you take me and put me into a giant place with tons of new people, I have a tendency to fade into the background. I don’t do anything to stick out, and I don’t make any effort to make things any different. Home cannot be that. Home is where you know and are known. There really isn’t time tonight to write out things like I would like to. I’ll have to come back to all of this a different day.

I am still staying put in the beginning of Luke. I guess I am about four times through it as of today.

Today’s Playlist:
Many songs on the radio in the car
Over the Rhine – Drunkard’s Prayer

Day 22 – Travel Day

This begins posts that I wrote over the weekend while I was out of town. None of them are anything more than half begun thoughts and some very boring commentary on the day. I didn't even listen to much interesting music any day other than Day 22. I'll post them all anyway though just for the sake of being complete. I am going to extend writing a couple more days though to flesh out a few more thoughts. I backdated these posts to approximately the time I wrote each of them.

I didn’t get to it down and write as much as I had hoped today. The morning got away from me really quickly. Everything seemed to take a little longer than I wished it would. We made it to West Monroe with no problems though. On the way I got to talk to some folks including my friend, Jason. I never get to talk to him as much as I wish I did. It was good to talk to him for a few minutes, and it will be ever better to see him and Lori next weekend.

Today’s Playlist:
Smile, Smile - Blue Roses
Early Day Miners - All Harm Ends Here
Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl, Vol 1

Day 21 - Done With Work For the Week

A late decision on my part to take tomorrow off left today as the last day I will be working for my 25 days of posting. I have written at length about work, but I haven't come to any real conclusions. It has been good to vent though. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will go back to these posts a year from now and upon rereading them, wonder what I was thinking. Only time will tell.

We leave tomorrow just after lunch to head to West Monroe. I'll sit down and write some more before then. Posts on Saturday and Sunday might have to wait until we get back in town to be posted, but I will definitely make every attempt to write them on the correct days.

Today's Playlist:
Ninety Pound Wuss - Shorthand Operation
A.C. Newman - The Slow Wonder
T-Bone Burnett - The True False Identity
Sleeping at Last - Ghosts of Christmas Past

Day 20 - Five More to Go

Only five days left. I can't believe I have made it without skipping out. I was about to not write anything tonight, but I decided that a little something was better than nothing. Adrian is out of school for two weeks starting today. That isn't fair. I do have a hurdle that I just jumped that I am excited about. Now isn't the time to talk about that though. Now is the time to stop writing.

Today's Playlist:
Mum - Finally We are No One
Rosie Thomas - These Friends of Mine
Woven Hand - Mosaic

Day 19 - Rainy and Nasty

Today was a blah day. Work was the usual, except with more Santa hats and some food. It was a pretty bad day, but I can probably blame my bad attitude for it as much as I can anything else today. The weather fit the mood pretty well though. The free food around lunch time did leave me with a great time to get out and read about the birth of Christ during my lunch.

I walked down to sit by the fountains at one of the buildings a couple of blocks from mine, and with a slight drizzle falling for most of the time, I read through the second chapter of Luke. I thought about the inconvenient timing of God's plan for the birth of His son. No human would choose that timing. Two couples that mean a lot to me have just welcomed new babies into their families this week. Both couples are amazing Godly people, but I can't help but think they wouldn't be pleased with similar circumstances surrounding the birth of their children. I feel like both couple are sensitive to God's purposes for their lives, but I would imagine that they would be hard to convince if they were told that God's plan for them was to welcome their new baby into the world from an unclean, unequipped location.

It's a really broad generic statement, but I want to be more prepared for God's direction than I am. I am too easily absorbed by how I think things should go. I have spent so much on my plan that I have left little attention to the direction of Him in my life. Even aside from the person of Jesus, God's plan for Jesus' birth is yet another example straight out of His word that should have a major effect the way I relate to Him. I know I can trust His plan. It may not sound perfect, but it is.

Today's Playlist:
Michael Pritzl - Hollow Songs
Antony and the Johnsons - I Am a Bird Now
Ben Folds - Rockin' The Suburbs
Bill Mallonee - Dear Life
Explosions in the Sky - The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place
Hood - The Lost You EP

Day 18 - How Did it Sound?

I'm not going to complain today. I don't want to go down that path tonight.

I spent some time reading up to the Christ's birth in Luke today. From the view that hit me today, I couldn't help but think of how it would be much different the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth leading up to the birth of John the Baptist, and the story of Mary and Joseph leading up to the birth of Jesus would be portrayed today. Zecharaiah and Elizabeth would make for a great story in the oddities section. Mary and Joseph would make a juicy story for the news magazines to pick up on. "Delusional Teenager Thinks She is Pregnant with Son of God, and Get This...Fiancé Believes Her Too" These two stories show a lot of faith on the part of a lot of normal people, not to mention the hugeness of God's love for us. Luke 1 is a great example of people who were far less cynical than I am. They believed God for what He said. There was some doubt....it even caused a case of muteness, but they trusted His plan and saw amazing things.

Today's Playlist:
Shearwater - Palo Santo
Band of Horses - Everything All the Time
The Paper Chase - God Bless Your Black Heart
Margot and the Nuclear So and So's - The Dust of Retreat

Day 17 - Lazy Sunday to Follow Lazy Saturday

Once again, not much to say about today. I enjoyed being at church today though. The music and the message had me quite moved. I'll probably talk some more about the message a different day when I want to sit down and write some more. I think it is certainly worth a listen. It should show up at www.watermarkradio.com sometime this week. The topic was kindness, and it was a message I needed to hear today.

Got to play some tennis and hang out a bit with Mr. Pennington this evening. That always makes for good times and usually bad tennis. I should have beat him today, but my serve disappeared late in the set. The exercise is good though.

Today's Playlist:
The Futureheads - The Futureheads
Midlake - The Trials of Van Occupanter
Modern English - After the Snow

Day 16 - Lazy Saturday

Today was a pretty lazy day. Got up and did a few things. Went back to sleep. Tried to brave the post office and gave up. We did go shopping a bit, but it wasn't anything too major, and we tried to avoid hot spots. We didn't have much success, but we did survive.

Today's Playlist:
Astronautalis - Mighty Ocean and Nine Dark Theaters
Sufjan Stevens - Chrismas Vols 3 and 4

Day 15 - Coffee, Smoothies, Fruit, and Mexican Food

Going out for lunch is an expensive habit. It is nice to get out of the office and take a walk though. It is hard to sit at my desk and eat a sandwich when there are tons of places to get out and eat something much better. Sometime last fall, we walked to the West End with the plan to eat at Chipotle, but due to the long line, we decided we would be brave and try out an odd little storefront that was selling all sorts of things. On the counter, they had a cutout article from a local newspaper claiming they had the best bowl of chicken soup in Dallas. That day the three of us all had a bowl and from there on out, we were hooked. I haven't had the soup in a long time, but about once every week or two, some group of us will make the walk down to that place, La Fiesta Fruits.

After a trip to the post office today, I decided I would make the walk. Some gorditas sounded mighty tasty. I was by myself, but I walked in to the same setting that we ended up loving as much as the food. The owner Daniel, who now knows us, greeted me and asked where everyone else was. Everyone else had something they were doing, but I ordered my gorditas with some orange/watermelon juice and sat down at the table we almost always sit at. That quirky little fruit stand is my favorite place to eat, and even really one of my favorite places to sit downtown. We used to joke about how we entered a time warp when we were in there. It is sort of silly, but that place is one of the little things that reminds me that there really are good things about my job.

When we started going to La Fiesta, we were on the tail end of a big project that we were really excited to finish. We ended up doing what we all think was a really good job on that project. It was a huge change that would open up a lot of possibilites for what we could do. Since we completed that project, a lot has changed. We have worked nonstop under deadlines that are unrealistic with requirements that are contantly changing. We have taken a lot of flack for things that are completely out of our control. The corporate politics and power struggles of working in business are enough to grizzle even the most idealistic of people. Some days I can take it in stride, and some days I wonder what I am doing there. As much as I have griped about it lately on these posts, I figure I should take the link off my links (i'll do that once I publish this). I wish my company no ill will. They have been good to me and for the most part, continue to be, but working there reenforces my desire to have my own business. I want to have the opportunity to use my skills and ideas from a different perspective. Too bad I can't make the pirate thing work out.

I spent time today in Matthew's short but sweet account of the birth of Christ. It is another one of those passages that I have read through and heard read so many times that I easily think of it more as straight history than anything else. Up through Christmas, I am going to continue through the different accounts of the time before and just after Jesus' birth. I hope and pray that I see the power and love in that is screaming out through it.

Today's Playlist:
Pernice Brothers - Yours, Mine, and Ours
Map - San Francisco in the 90's
Why? - Elephant Eyelash
Jens Lekman - You Are the Light EP
Castanets - First Light's Freeze
Islands - Return to the Sea

Day 14 - Another Day, Another Post

It's going to be a short one. A long day as expected. Mostly, not bad eventwise. Not too great time with God wise.

Today's Playlist:
Vigilantes of Love - To the Roof of the Sky
Catherine Wheel - Adam and Eve
The Choir - Free Flying Soul

Day 13 - The Judge Roy Scream....No Wait the Mini Mine Train

Today was sort of an up and down day. It was a boring rollercoaster, but there were highs and some lows. I'd rate it right up there with the good ole' Judge Roy Scream at Six Flags. Not going to thrill you that much, but enough ups and downs to know what you are riding on.

Work was quiet aside from getting a new computer. There was a little bit of action both good and bad, but it was all quite tame by the current standards of things going off the wall. Once I got home, it was a pretty quick turnaround getting back out to get things ready for our party with our foundation group tonight. In getting things ready, I got to spend some quality time with Adrian in the form of a driving around town to run small errands and what turned into a fun trip to the dollar store to buy gifts for our white elephant party. I couldn't come up with anything too interesting here at the apartment, so I relegated myself to a bag of dollar store goodies. Who knew you could get "scent of Jesus" incense?

I enjoyed being at our party. Our group is full of great people who love to laugh. I respect them a lot, and I really like being around them. Even after months of being in a group together, I can still be a bit standoffish with them though. I don't know why I take so long to really open up and warm up to people, but it is just how I have been since I was much younger. I get comfortable with people so slowly. As I get older, sometimes the slowness seems to be getting even slower. I'll never be mistaken as an extrovert, but a lot of times I do with I was less reserved from the start.

The night was running long, and it was time that we really had to go. I didn't want to go, but the clock was working against us big time. I got in the car and was quite bummed that I didn't get to finish out the evening. These days, I am sometimes feel so isolated that it is just nice to be around a bunch of people. As I sat down to write this, I was still pretty sad. As with many other days, the writing has been therapeutic for me though. I get to open up in a way that is easy for me. I think I have three people that I know read this, and even then they don't get to read it until I have pressed publish. This experiment has been good for me so far.

Tomorrow will be a long day at work, followed by what I am sure will be an interesting Christmas party for work extending my day much longer than normal. As I have looked to Him more, as the week has progressed, God has given me the patience and stamina to stand up. I will revise my rollercoaster comparison to the Mini Mine Train. It's amazing how perspective changes with time, even when the time is short. Over the 45 or so minutes I have spent here writing and rewriting, the day seems much less dramatic.

I am blessed beyond measure. I've got a lot more I should probably do before I get to sleep tonight, but I think I am going to head off to bed on that thought.

Today's Playlist:
Don Chaffer - You Were at the Time For Love
Copeland - Eat, Sleep, Repeat
Spoon - Kill the Moonlight
Page France - Hello, Dear Wind

Day 12 - A Much Quieter Day

I accomplished what I sat out to do today. The day started out with me sitting there writing an e-mail to the guy from yesterday explaining why I said what I said and apologizing for the way I said it. The response wasn't what I wished it would have been, but it was just what I expected. My part is done for now on it all. I didn't let things get to me today. Admittedly, it was a much less trying day than yesterday. Even still, I felt like I did have a much better attitude about today. The difference was certainly not of me.

I haven't spent much time in the Word so far today. In fact, I spent more time reading my Bono book, watching tv, and writing this post than I did in the Word. That's pretty sad. It never ceases to amaze me how I find time for the less important things but have trouble making time for the more important.

Today's Playlist
The Album Leaf - In A Safe Place
Arcade Fire - Funeral
The Polyphonic Spree - Together We're Heavy
Rosie Thomas - These Friends of Mine
Iron and Wine/Calexico - In the Reins
Over the Rhine - Drunkard's Prayer

Day 11 - The Reality of the Day

I feel like I have whined a lot about work throughout my little experiment of posting a lot. It has been more on my mind than anything else though. Today took the cake so far in these 11 days for bad days. I didn't have to stay late, and I took a long lunch, but a couple of really bad events were enough to ruin the day. Among a few other things, I said some things that I probably shouldn't have to someone who has a whole lot more power than I do. I felt at the time that it was a good thing to do, and I still feel like it wasn't completely out of line for me to say what I did. The words came out of anger and were not as well spoken as I wish they would have been.

Shortly after all of this, I took a nice long walk by myself to calm down, think a little, grab some lunch, and clear my head. I first went to the post office where the only person smiling was a lady who by the looks of her was recovering from cancer. The line was long. There were only two postal workers helping as the line grew. The smiler was patiently waiting her turn behind me. As she made it up to the front, she smiled at the cashier and began talking to her as if she had found a new friend. She was excited with the fact that she was able to get some holiday stamps. I walked out after my usual dry exchange with the other cashier and continued down the block. This was by far my favorite site of the day until I got home.

I think I was asked for money four times on my walk, with my response on all four of them being a no. As I wove through the streets of downtown Dallas, I passed many more people. A bunch of business folk on their way to lunch. Some security guards guarding the back entrance to the federal building. A lady walking quickly by herself from city hall towards something else. A group of people headed with luggage to the Greyhound station. A group of businessmen that had just bought one of those fake papers with wild theories about the Kennedy assassination walking and taking in the sights of the Texas School Book Depository, the grassy knoll, and the rest of Dealy Plaza. A family that looked to be on a vacation with their kids had just come home from college taking in the same sights. All of them seemingly less concerned about their time than they were about they were heading and what they were doing.

All the while, I kept on walking, tiny bible in my back pocket; praying some of the time, stewing some more, and not really having any aim other than to stay out from my cubicle long enough to really qualify my time as a long lunch. I never stopped to spend some time with that tiny bible like I was planning when I left the office. After walking about as far as I thought I could, I stopped to grab some lunch. I ordered something to eat, and then sat there, eating my food. I knew I should get back towards work, but I didn't really want to. I ate my roll and wished for another job. One where I felt appreciated. One where I could still have fun. One where I felt like what I did mattered. One where I didn't feel robbed if I had to stay a little late.

I didn't draw many conclusions on my walk, though I guess I did achieve most of what I set out to accomplish. I started the walk back up Ross from the west end trying to refocus on the day. I wanted to get back with a better attitude. I used to really enjoy my job, and there are days where I still have glimpses of what I love. I used to take a lot of pride in what I did, and I felt like I was a part of making things better. I have become very cynical about it. My coworkers notice a difference, and I hate that. I think I still do a good job, but I don't have the drive to go the extra mile that I used to. I have let the circumstances as of late have drain way too much out of me. I never thought I would reach the point I am at where things cloud my view of my job so much that I don't feel blessed to have it.

I wish I could say that the afternoon was much better after that walk. I wish that the image in my head of the lady who had joy at the post office would have altered my view of things. I wish that I would have magically been back to appreciating my job. None of these things happened. I had the same lousy attitude for most of the rest of the day at work. I didn't crack much of a smile until I had been home for a while, and had my wife bobbing her head to a song I was listening to while I was back here on my computer looking at one last thing before our trip to in search of a gift.

Here is my prayer for tomorrow. I want to explain myself a little better to the guy I blew up at today. As I said before, I think some of what I had to say today was valid, but I need to better express what I was trying to say. I want to be reminded of the blessing of having a good job when I circumstances try to sabotage the day. I want to remember that I have a purpose of being at work beyond just to work.

I think this is all a decent start. I feel that I am far from being who I need and want to be when I am at work, but I want to be back to having hope that things are not beyond repair. I'll quit being full of drama about all of this, and get to bed. If you read this and think about it, please pray for my work situation.

Today's Playlist:
Mojave 3 - Out of Tune
Lassie Foundation - Face Your Fun
Cush - Brown EP
Cush - Self Titled
The New Year - The End is Near
Wreckless Eric - Whole Wide World (just a song, but it was the head bobbing song)
Don Peris - Ten Silver Slide Trombones

Day 10 - People Time

Getting to really spend some time with people makes for a good day. Today I got to hang out with Swaffy some more, go to church and hear a good sermon, eat lunch and talk with most of the folks from my community group, go catch a movie that I liked really well, then have dinner with my wife. I'll take a day like today any time I can get it.

Today's Playlist:
Sufjan Stevens - Joy, Songs for Christmas Vol. 4
Random U2 songs

Day 9 - Hanging Out

Just got back from seeing Apocalytco and need to get to bed. It has been a long day, but it has been good to hang out with Swaffy. I'll post more tomorrow.

Today's Disjointed Parts of Discs Playlist:
Joanna Newsom - Ys
Mat Kearney - Bullet
Tears for Fears - Songs from the Big Chair
Lots of parts of lots of other discs.