The Week That Wouldn't End

To say it has been a hard week would be quite an understatement. It has been a long time since I have had a week reach close to how bad this one has been. I won't go into details of everything that has happened, but I'll hit a couple of the high (well really low) points.

On Tuesday afternoon, I got word that my cousin had been killed in a car wreck that morning. She was driving down a pretty bare road in foggy weather, and broadsided an 18 wheeler. There were 7 other people in the minivan with her, a mother and her 6 kids who my cousin babysat. Everyone else made it out alive thankfully. I can't imagine the grief that my aunt and uncle are going through. My cousin was only 22 and was my aunt and uncle's only child. She had just finished up her training to be a massage therapist and was saving up money to get her license. Everyone was very proud of her, and she will be very missed. We will be heading up to my aunt and uncle's hometown tomorrow for the funeral. Please pray for my family, especially my aunt and uncle.

Additionally, in what amounts to a much smaller, yet still stressful problem, Thursday morning at work, my big boss was fired. Similar circumstances were what started the ball rolling on what led up to me leaving my last job. I couldn't believe that after only three weeks, things looked like they were starting down the same path. Thankfully things cooled off a bit after another meeting this morning. Hopefully they will continue going in a good direction, and things will be better off, but it is hard being new and not knowing.

There has been plenty else going on adding to the stress. Yesterday when I got home from work all I could do was lay around for a while. On even less important notes, I was pretty bummed to miss a show I had been looking forward to for a long time (and had tickets to) with Page France, Margot and the Nuclear So and So's, and Denison Witmer. Hopefully they will all make it through again soon.

Tomorrow will be a tough day, but I am glad the weekend finally made it. I hope that even in the midst of a lot of sadness and stress, I will have some peace and rest.

Recent Long Playlist:
Malcolm Middleton - A Brighter Beat
Tacks, The Boy Disaster - Oh, Beatrice
The Twilight Sad - The Twilight Sad
The Violet Burning - Demonstrates Plastic and Elastic
Joanna Newsom - Ys
Page France - Tomato Morning Tour EP
The Violet Burning - Lipstick and Dynamite Wonder
Nourallah Brothers - Nourallah Brothers
LN - Dirt Floor Hotel Pt. 2
Califone - Roots and Crowns
Denison Witmer - Philadephia Songs
The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
The Innocence Mission - Birds of My Neighborhood
Robert Deeble - 13 Stories
Over the Rhine - Drunkard's Prayer
Pedro the Lion - Control
The Choir - Kissers and Killers

A Slow Start

Things have started off pretty well at the new job. The days are quite slow at the moment though. I don't really know too many people, and I have zero responsibility so far. The long days sitting there slowly converting code lends itself well to a lot of music listening though. I have made it to a bunch of stuff I hadn't given much of a chance yet along with a bunch of old favorites. Here are the discs I have been listening to.

Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
White Whale - WWI
Mates of State - Team Boo
Robert Earl Keen - Picnic
Cocteau Twins - Victorialand
Patty Griffin - Children Running Through
Josh Ritter - Hello Starling
Film School - Film School
Ben Kweller - Sha Sha
Grizzly Bear - Horn of Plenty
Prince - Purple Rain
The Whitest Boy Alive - Dreams
The Besnard Lakes - The Besnard Lakes are the Dark Horse
Richard Swift - Dressed Up for the Letdown
Woven Hand - Consider the Birds
Silversun Pickups - Carnavas
Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope
Margot and the Nuclear So and So's - The Dust of Retreat
Frank Lenz - VileLenz and Thieves
Fishboy - Zipbangboom
Fields - 7 From the Village
Hem - Funnel Cloud
The Smiths - Meat is Murder
Cold War Kids - Robbers and Cowards
Gileah - The Golden Planes
The New Year - Newness Ends
Voxtrot - Biggest Fan

Wow, that was more than I had thought I had listened to. I really have been sitting there for a long time. I guess I should enjoy these days while they last, and get around to a few more discs that have been sitting there hidden on my ipod.

Skee Ball and New Ties

After a skee ball death match to determine who would take over my duties as floor fire marshall, my time as part of the team my old job officially ended. Today was my first day of unemployment, but it was nice to get a chance to meet up with everyone after they got done for the day. As much difficulty as I had with work over the past few months, the folks I got to hang out with today were almost never part of the problem. They are a great group of people who I had a lot of fun with. We did a lot of good work and had lots of laughs over almost three years.

Tomorrow will be my last day of unemployment before starting in a new place. As I have said before, it will just be a couple of blocks away, but it will definitely be a big change. I spent some time the day preparing for my transition in the being sharply dressed. My wife is very excited about that change, but I'm not thinking it will be much fun. It all begins at 8:00 on Monday morning though.

Today's Playlist:
Explosions in the Sky - All of the Sudden I Miss Everyone
Lassie Foundation - California

Oh The Times They Are A'Changing

Well, it has been a while since I have posted. When I started this blog, I made a conscious effort to try not to ever start a post with those words. I don't think I have done it so far, but even still, I decided to break that rule with this post. The reason I haven't posted isn't that I haven't had time, or I haven't had anything to post about. Mainly, I didn't post because the overarching theme of the new year so far has been my search for a new job. Since I didn't want to screw up things with the job I currently have, I didn't think that posting about that would be wise.

Not feeling like I should talk about that changed last Thursday when I formally accepted a job with a new company, and subsequently gave my two weeks notice at my current job. It has been an odd but exciting past several days. I am looking forward to making a change that I think will be a good one. The last several months have been really toxic at work for me. I have felt like I should probably go for a while, and events over the last few weeks have really confirmed that as the correct decision.

The job is still in the financial world, this time at an investment bank, and my new building will only be two blocks away from my old one. I will have to step it up in the dressing up department, which is one of my bigger fears about the new job. I'll have to see what I think of having to wear a stinking tie every day. The people at the new place have been great so far, and I think the work will be interesting. It will be tough to leave behind friends at the old place though. At least we will still be close by, and hopefully they will still be up for a La Fiesta Fruits run now and then.

I'm going to go for now, but I do have tons of things to post about when I finally sit down to write some more later this week. Here's a list of potential topics:
- The Michael Roe vs. Michael Pritzl show I saw Friday night
- The way that community is really starting to feel a bit more real to me, and God is using that in me
- The genius of Bill Mallonee
- Current listenings including the new Patty Griffin disc
- A really sappy post

If there are any of those topics that you want to read more than any others, let me know, and maybe I'll write about it first. I have a lot to say at the moment, but realistically, I won't get the words all down before I decide to start writing about something different.

Day 28 - The End of the Season

Well, the Ags just ended their season with a wimper. The game was a pretty bad loss, and coupled with an Okie State win, and UCLA's loss last night, my bowl pick'em ranking is going to take a big hit. At least the Mavs had a good win tonight. Sitting there during the game thinking about what I was going to write tonight, I decided that I'd end my season with a wimper tonight too.

It has been 28 days of posting. Some post have been rants, some have been decently thought out, and some (especially these last couple) have been thrown together at the last moment just to get something up to meet a requirement I set for myself. I am glad that I have posted a bunch, but at least for now, I am going to take a break. I'll be back posting in a few days, but probably I'd doubt I'll be back to posting one a day. Thanks for reading, and the encouragment I have gotten from comments both on here and outside of here.

Today's Playlist:
Hood - Outside Closer
16 Horsepower - Low Estate
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Facing Future
Joseph Arthur - Come to Where I'm From
Isis - Oceanic

Day 27 - Back to the Grind

I spent most of today with my head down coding away at my project at work. Days like today usually feel pretty short, and today was no exception. I get a lot done and spend less time looking at the clock, but I don't like being so disconnected. There are going to have to be a lot more days like today between now and January 16th though.

For tonight, I am going to keep on with the trend of mindless short writings and go watch some football. The UCLA/FSU game is looking pretty interesting from the score. I hope UCLA wins. My bowl pick'em ranking depends on it.

Today's Long Playlist:
Sound Team - Movie Monster
Julie Miller - Broken Things
Justin Rosolino - Wonderlust
Voxtrot - Mothers, Sisters, Daughters, Wives
The Mountain Goats - Get Lonely
Danielson - Ships
Patty Griffin - Living With Ghosts
Nirvana - Unplugged in New York

Day 26 - Boxing Day

I don't know what I will title tomorrow's post. After a long day at work, not particularly bad, just long, I don't really want to sit down to write like I was planning on. I'll write more tomorrow and come up with at better title.

Today's Playlist:
Richard Buckner - The Hill
TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
Mat Kearney - Nothing Left to Lose

Day 25 - Merry Christmas

Well, I have reached the end of the 25 days I allotted for my little experiment. I made my goal of posting every day. I fell quite short of my goal of spending time in the Word every day, though I did do much better than I was leading up to these 25 days. I listened to a lot of music, but that doesn't really suprise me.

I don't feel like I am quite ready to stop yet though. After not getting to sit down and write like I would have liked over the past few days, I think I want to extend things a couple more days. I got to thinking about some things over my time out of town, and I want to spend a bit more time with some of those things. The bottom line is that for at least the next three days, I will continue my streak. I don't have much more to say tonight other than that. Posting about posting.....isn't that awesome.

I hope you had a great Christmas day.

Today's Playlist (as selected by DJ A in the car all the way back from West Monroe):
Nicole Nordeman - Woven and Spun
Jennifer Knapp - Kansas
Kendall Payne - Jordan's Sister
Many many other female singers that I don't listen to aside from letting my wife drive the radio. Whatever Christmas songs the radio chose to play.

Day 24 – Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve came and went without much going on. It is almost over, and the weekend at A’s parents’ is winding down. It isn’t a bad thing to be away from my family for Christmas, but it is just different. I’ll sit down and finally write some more tomorrow when I get back to Dallas. It has been hard to find time to get away.

Day 23 – A Day at Home

It wasn’t my home, but it was home of a certain description. When we are at one of our homes or the other, life always seems much slower. For that weekend or whatever period of time being there is for, it is difficult to figure out what to do. There usually ends up being some degree of tv watching that wouldn’t be done otherwise. There usually ends up being some sort of moment where we do something that neither of us wants to do, but we do it anyway. It always seems like home never changes, but I feel like I have changed a lot every time I go back. That isn’t a 100% true statement, but it is something for me to ponder.

I have been away from “home” for a long time now. It has been eight years since I have spent significant time at “home.” I don’t feel like I have really replaced home yet. I am finally settling in to Dallas, and I think I could get used to the idea of it being where I am from. I am attached to the city. City life suits me well. There are all sorts of place to go, thing to see, and things to do. I can try new things. I can go cd shopping at tons of different places whenever I want to. Whatever I might need or want can usually be found somewhere. I think the last hurdle I have to really feeling at home there is to overcome the anonymity that city life makes so easy. When you take me and put me into a giant place with tons of new people, I have a tendency to fade into the background. I don’t do anything to stick out, and I don’t make any effort to make things any different. Home cannot be that. Home is where you know and are known. There really isn’t time tonight to write out things like I would like to. I’ll have to come back to all of this a different day.

I am still staying put in the beginning of Luke. I guess I am about four times through it as of today.

Today’s Playlist:
Many songs on the radio in the car
Over the Rhine – Drunkard’s Prayer

Day 22 – Travel Day

This begins posts that I wrote over the weekend while I was out of town. None of them are anything more than half begun thoughts and some very boring commentary on the day. I didn't even listen to much interesting music any day other than Day 22. I'll post them all anyway though just for the sake of being complete. I am going to extend writing a couple more days though to flesh out a few more thoughts. I backdated these posts to approximately the time I wrote each of them.

I didn’t get to it down and write as much as I had hoped today. The morning got away from me really quickly. Everything seemed to take a little longer than I wished it would. We made it to West Monroe with no problems though. On the way I got to talk to some folks including my friend, Jason. I never get to talk to him as much as I wish I did. It was good to talk to him for a few minutes, and it will be ever better to see him and Lori next weekend.

Today’s Playlist:
Smile, Smile - Blue Roses
Early Day Miners - All Harm Ends Here
Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl, Vol 1

Day 21 - Done With Work For the Week

A late decision on my part to take tomorrow off left today as the last day I will be working for my 25 days of posting. I have written at length about work, but I haven't come to any real conclusions. It has been good to vent though. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will go back to these posts a year from now and upon rereading them, wonder what I was thinking. Only time will tell.

We leave tomorrow just after lunch to head to West Monroe. I'll sit down and write some more before then. Posts on Saturday and Sunday might have to wait until we get back in town to be posted, but I will definitely make every attempt to write them on the correct days.

Today's Playlist:
Ninety Pound Wuss - Shorthand Operation
A.C. Newman - The Slow Wonder
T-Bone Burnett - The True False Identity
Sleeping at Last - Ghosts of Christmas Past

Day 20 - Five More to Go

Only five days left. I can't believe I have made it without skipping out. I was about to not write anything tonight, but I decided that a little something was better than nothing. Adrian is out of school for two weeks starting today. That isn't fair. I do have a hurdle that I just jumped that I am excited about. Now isn't the time to talk about that though. Now is the time to stop writing.

Today's Playlist:
Mum - Finally We are No One
Rosie Thomas - These Friends of Mine
Woven Hand - Mosaic

Day 19 - Rainy and Nasty

Today was a blah day. Work was the usual, except with more Santa hats and some food. It was a pretty bad day, but I can probably blame my bad attitude for it as much as I can anything else today. The weather fit the mood pretty well though. The free food around lunch time did leave me with a great time to get out and read about the birth of Christ during my lunch.

I walked down to sit by the fountains at one of the buildings a couple of blocks from mine, and with a slight drizzle falling for most of the time, I read through the second chapter of Luke. I thought about the inconvenient timing of God's plan for the birth of His son. No human would choose that timing. Two couples that mean a lot to me have just welcomed new babies into their families this week. Both couples are amazing Godly people, but I can't help but think they wouldn't be pleased with similar circumstances surrounding the birth of their children. I feel like both couple are sensitive to God's purposes for their lives, but I would imagine that they would be hard to convince if they were told that God's plan for them was to welcome their new baby into the world from an unclean, unequipped location.

It's a really broad generic statement, but I want to be more prepared for God's direction than I am. I am too easily absorbed by how I think things should go. I have spent so much on my plan that I have left little attention to the direction of Him in my life. Even aside from the person of Jesus, God's plan for Jesus' birth is yet another example straight out of His word that should have a major effect the way I relate to Him. I know I can trust His plan. It may not sound perfect, but it is.

Today's Playlist:
Michael Pritzl - Hollow Songs
Antony and the Johnsons - I Am a Bird Now
Ben Folds - Rockin' The Suburbs
Bill Mallonee - Dear Life
Explosions in the Sky - The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place
Hood - The Lost You EP

Day 18 - How Did it Sound?

I'm not going to complain today. I don't want to go down that path tonight.

I spent some time reading up to the Christ's birth in Luke today. From the view that hit me today, I couldn't help but think of how it would be much different the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth leading up to the birth of John the Baptist, and the story of Mary and Joseph leading up to the birth of Jesus would be portrayed today. Zecharaiah and Elizabeth would make for a great story in the oddities section. Mary and Joseph would make a juicy story for the news magazines to pick up on. "Delusional Teenager Thinks She is Pregnant with Son of God, and Get This...Fiancé Believes Her Too" These two stories show a lot of faith on the part of a lot of normal people, not to mention the hugeness of God's love for us. Luke 1 is a great example of people who were far less cynical than I am. They believed God for what He said. There was some doubt....it even caused a case of muteness, but they trusted His plan and saw amazing things.

Today's Playlist:
Shearwater - Palo Santo
Band of Horses - Everything All the Time
The Paper Chase - God Bless Your Black Heart
Margot and the Nuclear So and So's - The Dust of Retreat

Day 17 - Lazy Sunday to Follow Lazy Saturday

Once again, not much to say about today. I enjoyed being at church today though. The music and the message had me quite moved. I'll probably talk some more about the message a different day when I want to sit down and write some more. I think it is certainly worth a listen. It should show up at www.watermarkradio.com sometime this week. The topic was kindness, and it was a message I needed to hear today.

Got to play some tennis and hang out a bit with Mr. Pennington this evening. That always makes for good times and usually bad tennis. I should have beat him today, but my serve disappeared late in the set. The exercise is good though.

Today's Playlist:
The Futureheads - The Futureheads
Midlake - The Trials of Van Occupanter
Modern English - After the Snow

Day 16 - Lazy Saturday

Today was a pretty lazy day. Got up and did a few things. Went back to sleep. Tried to brave the post office and gave up. We did go shopping a bit, but it wasn't anything too major, and we tried to avoid hot spots. We didn't have much success, but we did survive.

Today's Playlist:
Astronautalis - Mighty Ocean and Nine Dark Theaters
Sufjan Stevens - Chrismas Vols 3 and 4

Day 15 - Coffee, Smoothies, Fruit, and Mexican Food

Going out for lunch is an expensive habit. It is nice to get out of the office and take a walk though. It is hard to sit at my desk and eat a sandwich when there are tons of places to get out and eat something much better. Sometime last fall, we walked to the West End with the plan to eat at Chipotle, but due to the long line, we decided we would be brave and try out an odd little storefront that was selling all sorts of things. On the counter, they had a cutout article from a local newspaper claiming they had the best bowl of chicken soup in Dallas. That day the three of us all had a bowl and from there on out, we were hooked. I haven't had the soup in a long time, but about once every week or two, some group of us will make the walk down to that place, La Fiesta Fruits.

After a trip to the post office today, I decided I would make the walk. Some gorditas sounded mighty tasty. I was by myself, but I walked in to the same setting that we ended up loving as much as the food. The owner Daniel, who now knows us, greeted me and asked where everyone else was. Everyone else had something they were doing, but I ordered my gorditas with some orange/watermelon juice and sat down at the table we almost always sit at. That quirky little fruit stand is my favorite place to eat, and even really one of my favorite places to sit downtown. We used to joke about how we entered a time warp when we were in there. It is sort of silly, but that place is one of the little things that reminds me that there really are good things about my job.

When we started going to La Fiesta, we were on the tail end of a big project that we were really excited to finish. We ended up doing what we all think was a really good job on that project. It was a huge change that would open up a lot of possibilites for what we could do. Since we completed that project, a lot has changed. We have worked nonstop under deadlines that are unrealistic with requirements that are contantly changing. We have taken a lot of flack for things that are completely out of our control. The corporate politics and power struggles of working in business are enough to grizzle even the most idealistic of people. Some days I can take it in stride, and some days I wonder what I am doing there. As much as I have griped about it lately on these posts, I figure I should take the link off my links (i'll do that once I publish this). I wish my company no ill will. They have been good to me and for the most part, continue to be, but working there reenforces my desire to have my own business. I want to have the opportunity to use my skills and ideas from a different perspective. Too bad I can't make the pirate thing work out.

I spent time today in Matthew's short but sweet account of the birth of Christ. It is another one of those passages that I have read through and heard read so many times that I easily think of it more as straight history than anything else. Up through Christmas, I am going to continue through the different accounts of the time before and just after Jesus' birth. I hope and pray that I see the power and love in that is screaming out through it.

Today's Playlist:
Pernice Brothers - Yours, Mine, and Ours
Map - San Francisco in the 90's
Why? - Elephant Eyelash
Jens Lekman - You Are the Light EP
Castanets - First Light's Freeze
Islands - Return to the Sea

Day 14 - Another Day, Another Post

It's going to be a short one. A long day as expected. Mostly, not bad eventwise. Not too great time with God wise.

Today's Playlist:
Vigilantes of Love - To the Roof of the Sky
Catherine Wheel - Adam and Eve
The Choir - Free Flying Soul

Day 13 - The Judge Roy Scream....No Wait the Mini Mine Train

Today was sort of an up and down day. It was a boring rollercoaster, but there were highs and some lows. I'd rate it right up there with the good ole' Judge Roy Scream at Six Flags. Not going to thrill you that much, but enough ups and downs to know what you are riding on.

Work was quiet aside from getting a new computer. There was a little bit of action both good and bad, but it was all quite tame by the current standards of things going off the wall. Once I got home, it was a pretty quick turnaround getting back out to get things ready for our party with our foundation group tonight. In getting things ready, I got to spend some quality time with Adrian in the form of a driving around town to run small errands and what turned into a fun trip to the dollar store to buy gifts for our white elephant party. I couldn't come up with anything too interesting here at the apartment, so I relegated myself to a bag of dollar store goodies. Who knew you could get "scent of Jesus" incense?

I enjoyed being at our party. Our group is full of great people who love to laugh. I respect them a lot, and I really like being around them. Even after months of being in a group together, I can still be a bit standoffish with them though. I don't know why I take so long to really open up and warm up to people, but it is just how I have been since I was much younger. I get comfortable with people so slowly. As I get older, sometimes the slowness seems to be getting even slower. I'll never be mistaken as an extrovert, but a lot of times I do with I was less reserved from the start.

The night was running long, and it was time that we really had to go. I didn't want to go, but the clock was working against us big time. I got in the car and was quite bummed that I didn't get to finish out the evening. These days, I am sometimes feel so isolated that it is just nice to be around a bunch of people. As I sat down to write this, I was still pretty sad. As with many other days, the writing has been therapeutic for me though. I get to open up in a way that is easy for me. I think I have three people that I know read this, and even then they don't get to read it until I have pressed publish. This experiment has been good for me so far.

Tomorrow will be a long day at work, followed by what I am sure will be an interesting Christmas party for work extending my day much longer than normal. As I have looked to Him more, as the week has progressed, God has given me the patience and stamina to stand up. I will revise my rollercoaster comparison to the Mini Mine Train. It's amazing how perspective changes with time, even when the time is short. Over the 45 or so minutes I have spent here writing and rewriting, the day seems much less dramatic.

I am blessed beyond measure. I've got a lot more I should probably do before I get to sleep tonight, but I think I am going to head off to bed on that thought.

Today's Playlist:
Don Chaffer - You Were at the Time For Love
Copeland - Eat, Sleep, Repeat
Spoon - Kill the Moonlight
Page France - Hello, Dear Wind